INTERFAITH MARRIAGE ACTORS IN NEW SOROWAJAN HAMLET
A. Monograph of New Sorowajan Hamlet, Village Banguntapan
1. Geographical Position and Condition
New Sorowajan hamlet is one of many hamlets in Village Banguntapan, Banguntapan District, Bantul Regency, Yogyakarta. New Sorowajan has georaphically wide as 86,4 Ha of 814,3 Ha of the wide from the entire village.[1] No data shows geographical position of the village and the hamlet.
Village Banguntapan consists of 11 (eleven) hamlet and New Sorowajan is one of the most important hamlet in the village due to its potency. The other hamlet are as follow:[2]
a. Tegaltandan Hamlet
b. Jaranan Hamlet
c. Jomblangan Hamlet
d. Wonocatur Hamlet
e. Karang Jambe Hamlet
f. Karang Bendo Hamlet
g. Plumbon Hamlet
h. Pelemwulung Hamlet
i. Pringgolayan Hamlet
j. Modalan Hamlet
New Sorowajan Hamlet consists of 20 RT (Classification of Households) and also has strategic position due to the line bordered with two regencies and quite close with the capital province, the detailed is as follows:[3]
The borders of the hamlet:
a. North : Karang Bendo Hamlet
b. South : Plumbon Hamlet
c. East : Karang Jambe Hamlet
d. Southeast : City of Yogyakarta
e. West : Gendeng, Sleman Regency
The administrative distance between The Hamlet Hall and the capital:[4]
a. From the Hamlet Hall : 1 Kilometer
b. From the District Office : 4 Kilometers
c. From the Regency Office : 13 Kilometers
d. From the Province Office : 7 Kilometers
Of the explanation, we catch that mobility of the resident is supported by the hamlet position which is nearby from any capitals, so that the information stream is tremendously fast. Additionally the hamlet is also often visited by the local and foreign tourists, thus it causes rapidly cross culture and contact with the other customs.
2. Demography
New Sorowajan hamlet is inhabited by 2.653 residents consist of 703 KK (Family Head), while for more detailed population.
3. Education, Economic, and Religiousness Condition
Almost all residents in New Sorowajan Hamlet experience the bench of school and education ever, for sure beside small children which do not reach the age of school. The data show the quality of Human Resourch in the Hamlet and also show that the rapid spreading and distributing information and knowledge are something possible, so that it’s ethereal to find the illiterate resident all over the Hamlet.
Of the economic condition, the residents are on average in low to middle class economy. There are only two RT on average in middle to high class economy, namely: RT 16 and 18. On average, livelihood of the residents is working as trader and laborer, then employee, craftsman, and farmer are on its sequence. The detailed is as follow:
In New Sorowajan Hamlet, religious condition becomes the most important matter to explain in this subchapter, because of its touch with the main problem formulation about interfaith marriage. Majority of residents are Muslim (embrache Islamic religion), then followed by Hindu, Catholic, Christian, and Buddhist. But note that the religious followers are spreading equally, beside Islam followers of course, especially Hindu and Catholic followers. It means that the possibility of interfaith concatc especially in cultural matters and private problems i.e socializing with the opposite sex and marriage, is not impossible. The detailed is as follow:
There are few worship facilities for inhabitants in order to devote, pray, have socialization, meet together, hold a meeting, read the holy books etc. Although not each religion has the tabernacle or place of worship in the hamlet, but it can be surmounted easily, because it can be found in other Hamlet (such as in Plumbon Hamlet), other regency (Sleman) and city of Yogyakarta nerby the Hamlet, based on its position strategically.
B. The Life of Interfaith Marriage Actors
Interfaith marriage means marriage between Islam’s embracers and other religion, not among other religions outside Islam. Ordinarily, people of New Sorowajan Hamlet profess egalitarian-cooperation basis and do not distinguish the components grounded on race, ethnic, and religion, but sometime the people consider that wealth and having position are the measure to behold and place a person. Idea of the wealthy and the positioned men become more meaningful than the opposites,[11] likewise the family of interfaith marriage actors in New Sorowajan Hamlet, interfaith marriage actors also socialize well.
Islam and Catholic dominate interfaith spouses in this hamlet, even though the latter population nearly equals with the Hindu’s embracers. As being explained before in Chapter I, I take five spouses/families of interfaith marriage that they are perceived to be representative of other spouses in the hamlet, the goal is to view their life, reasons in marriage, and other aspects to analyze further in Chapter IV. Five spouses’ identity are as follow:
Interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet do realize that they are improbable to live alone with no cooperation to other components and assistance. Their life in the family and among people seems fine, moreover they feel that their family’s life is better and more peaceful than a same religion’s spouse. Not only their daily life, but also their private affairs i.e worship and rights as husband-wife as well as public affairs i.e education, religious activity, social work, mosque youth corps etc. seems normal like another. But as human being and household, they have generally experienced disagreement, intolerant and other obstacles with the mate, even they must be more patient and forceful and need struggle and determination bigger than another to reach harmony and eternity in marriage.[12]
More detailed, the following will explain briefly the life of five interfaith families that they are representated as sample:
1. Jagranata and Jagra (she refused to mention her original name)
This spouse has been interlacing household for about four decades. They did not recognize the divorce. Mrs. Jagra narrated that her background’s life is quite different from her husband, but the difference did not be a barrier to make relationship to marriage stage. She is originally from Java who did not follow Islamic rituals strictly (abangan) and became influenced by Javanese traditions (kejawen), so that her family accepted and gave option to select her mate/husband, Meanwhile, her husband, Jagranata is originally from thick family of Hindu-Bali. His family and religion obligated him to marry a Hindu or Bali’s woman at least if he wished to be accepted among the components. The most important thing is agreement in mutual respect and honor on religious matters declared in pre married. It’s their successful key to maintain the marriage.
In the daily life, every single component of the family is given a right to go through the life either in private or public affairs. The principal of this family is wisely mutual understanding to the variety and diversity in life.[13]
2. Tarmaji and Tumirah
This family constantly realizes the importance of establishing religious education for their children. They apply a form of tolerance to the mate based on respectability and mutual honor as well as caution to be devout and saying ‘congratulation’ when religious celebration came.[14]
3. Beni and Mrs. Beni (she refused to mention her original name)
If we observe considerably, we get that to marry person that has different faith doesn’t invariably impact to the wealth, moreover this family seems mediocre or I can categorize it to insufficiency, their home is same as people of rural area. It’s probably because the life in a village is multi-mediocre.
Unfortunately, their religious life is going down even left behind at all, they seem barely to worship. It really influences pattern of family for children’s education. The parent is less interested in children’s religious teaching and ignoring them to make their own choice, so that they are permitted whether they want to go to mosque or church. The main problem of this family is their pattern of life is out of religion.[15]
4. Sukisno and Rosydi
Despite this family is built on difference of religion, but there is no serious problem appears on the surface. It’s apart problem, because the core problem precisely happens inside.
Of many respondents I’ve interviewed, I got that this family is the only spouse inclines to be broken down and the actor admits that difference of religion in the life is the core problem.[16]
5. Sutarto and Mila Kristin
This family has early experienced a traumatic life in the beginning of the marriage. Their marriage was established as the result of an accident, because wife candidate (wife currently) was being pregnant before marriage establishment. Indeed I did not ask this matter directly to them because of the politeness manners, but people around gave supported information as same as the rumors that the fact of being pregnant before marriage was a truth, so that they were forced to get married although their faith and belief were different.[17]
C. The Reasons of Interfaith Marriage Actors
Based on observation and interview toward sample of five interfaith marriage’s families, I get some reasons why the actors decided and solemnized/forced to get marriage. Almost the family of interfaith marriage actors is educated or having an education, so that they have rational reasons in the decision. Of respondents’ information, then I make a general fact to produce the representative reasons of interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet. The following is the detailed:
1. Love and affection
They differentiate both of these, they stated that love is tending to sexual desire but affection is natural emotion tending to prize and cherish. Love and affection are their strongest reason, without these reasons they should not be brave to break through the borders and barriers. The feeling is also supported by comparability between a spouse and blessing from their parents.[18]
2. Quality of human, not just the religion
The actors realize that their religious understanding is far away from enough because of family and surroundings’ factor. But for them, religion is different thing and marriage is also, they distinguish between relationship with mankind (h{abl min an-na>s) and with the God (h{abl min Alla>h). They view the human completely of many aspects: ethics, character, and personality. They think that religion/faith is not determined thing in forming attitude. They also realize in heart that their each religion is the most true religion.[19]
3. Suggestion from an Islamic scholar (Kyai)
Having a consultation with an Islamic scholar (Kyai) and Islamic lecturer, they got that their marriage is actually permissible. They think that prohibition of a marriage between Muslim woman and non Muslim man is because the women are worried to follow husband’s religion and the worship will be bothered as the result of husband’s domination and women’s weak belief. So that, if women’s belief is factually forceful and they are not under husband control, thus their marriage will be permissible.[20]
4. Being pregnant
The woman is being pregnant, so that the spouse is solemnized and forced to get married as soon as possible.[21]
5. Discrimination and violation towards basic human rights
Some of them consider that it will be a discrimination as citizen and a violation to human rights if their marriage doesn’t be permitted.[22]
6. All religions are similar
Some of them consider that all of religious types are actually same. No religion teachs badness, wickedness, and corruption. Everything depends on personality of the pair, not whether the religion is followed. They also give an example that a lot of spouses built on similarity of religion, but afterwards the wife/husband becomes dishonest, immoral, and corrupt, so that the religion is not a guarantee.[23]
7. Family is everything
If all components of the family approve, thus the other things will not be a matter.[24]
D. Procedures Used by Interfaith Marriage Actors
1. Marriage Preparation
Marriage procedures are administrative matters; validity before the law, marriage legality, as well as marriage and children status. So that, even though registering marriage is fundamental and very important thing, but it could be manipulated and counterfeited easily, it means that the data could be possibly dissimilar with the real fact.
On preparation stage, interfaith marriage actors have to pass through two phases: firstly, they inventoried problems that would be faced further and estimated whether their parent’s objectives would be communicated. Secondly, they prepared mentality to meet all possibilities, then they ventured to communicate their wish to marry a person whom his religion was different. Several conditions below must be prepared on interfaith marriage:[25]
Applicable to spouse of Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra, they have to prepare the marriage in a procession, namely Hindu’s marriage ceremony . They must provide anything needed in the ceremony such as ritual offering.
For spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-Rosydi, they prepared only a marriage procession, namely Islamic ritual. As generally Muslims, they prepared guardian, dowry, witnesses and naib (substitute, as the marriage registrar), it’s aimed to obtain marriage certificate in to be legitimated by the Indonesian law.
For spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin, they accomplished the marriage in Catholic procession, thus they have to prepare anything needed as generally Catholic ceremony.
For spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah, the marriage preparation became more complicated than the previous spouses, because they wished to get married in both religious processions: Islam with ija>b-qabu>l and Catholic with sacrament.
2. Accomplishing Marriage
The interfaith marriage in New Sorowajan Hamlet was accomplished in four types of procession:[26]
1. Hindu’s marriage ceremony
It’s accomplished by spouse Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra in offering ceremony and Bali’s customs. Before registration at Civil Registration Office (KCS), as stated, they purposefully renewed Citizen Identity Card (KTP) by changing wife’s religious status to be Hindu, it’s aimed to be allowed in registration. When the requirements were completed, thus the marriage accomplished.
2. Islamic Ritual
It’s accomplished by spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-Rosydi. Before marriage procession, an official of marriage registration from Religious Affairs Office (KUA) inspected the requirements. Admission of the actors, they also changed religious status on KTP to be Islam, because the official of KUA was not going to register and give marriage certificate if the spouse’s religion was different. Afterwards, when the requirements was completed thus ijab-qabul established as commonly Muslims.
3. Catholic Procession
It’s accomplished by spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin. In this procession, the actors have not to change religious status on KTP, they merely have to promise to keep in faith and agree to teach offspring in Catholic manners. Before the sacrament, all of husbands and wives candidate have to to be baptized as the sign of soul purifying from any lifelong sin. Then, in sacrament, benediction and invocation were sent up for both bride and groom to obtain Allah’s eternal affection. After marriage, both of them ran Catholic’s teachings.
4. Both Islam and Catholic
It’s accomplished by spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah. First of two processions, they run ija>b-qabu>l in KCS, it could not be conducted in KUA because each bride and groom were consistent of own religious status, but religious official was constantly attended to witness that the marriage between them was conducted. After being inspecting the requirements, the official announced register of the marriage in determined office. Then the marriage conducted before official of marriage registration and being witnessed by two witnesses.
After the accomplishing, both of bride and groom sign marriage certificate, then two witnesses, the official, and guardian thereafter. With the signatures, the marriage was officially registered. Then the official duplicated the certificate, one was sent to KCS and another was sent to the court that its authority surrounded district of the office. Thereafter the certificate was given to each husband and wife, unfortunately the certificate was dissimilar with common marriage certificate, because there was no quotations as written down on the commonly certificate.
After being accomplishing in KCS, the marriage has to be conducted for the second in church. The church officer did not give a marriage book/certificate because the previous certificate from KCS was considered legally. The church merely made a document showed that both bride and groom have been conducting sacrament and baptism for marriage in the church.
Of the explanation above, the temporary conclusion can be appeared that conducting interfaith marriage in this hamlet was quite easy, even though the office (KUA and KCS) did not allow interfaith marriage, but it could be happened if the interfaith marriage actors did not change the religious status on KTP. Why the office allowed and permitted by changing the status is truly something reasonable. Because religious matter is a private thing and interfaith marriage that has been spread out particularly in the hamlet and generally in Indonesia.
E. The Impacts of Interfaith Marriage Within Actors’ Family and The Society
Of many respondents interviewed and after being learned the interfaith marriage actors’ life especially from five spouses as the sample, I discover that because of the solemnizing/compultion of interfaith marriage, it caused serious impacts unless interfaith marriage actors ignored. It would be negative or positive impacts, the following is the negative impacts:
1. Children status and pretense in religion
Forgery of data which is a changing religious status on KTP, caused an obligatory for their children to follow their status of religion. It happens to Jagranata, Beni, and Sukisno’s family. But the reality is all of Jagranata’s children are Muslim and implementing worship i.e. s{ala>t, fasting, and alms (zaka>t) in the daily life although their religious status on KTP is non Muslim. Whereas, all of Beni and Sukisno’s children are Muslim but did not like previous family, their children are less consistent in Islamic worship. These are the cause why I call that there is a pretense of religion in his life.
2. Status of the marriage
Even though their marriage was legitimated and registered by official of marriage registration (PPN), but their marital status is uncertain to be legitimated by their each religions. No religion permits interfaith marriage, but Islam as the only religion which allows, restricts whether anyone of non Muslim is allowed to take in marriage. It causes whether their sexual intercorse is called zina (adultery) or not, and whether the children born are legally their descendant.
3. Right in inheritance
Although it’s definite that anyone of children has a right of inheritance as the result of manipulation towards the religious status, however their real religion, as reflected in daily life, is quite different with written data in KTP, Family Card (KK), and civil registration document.
Islam determines that difference of religion is one of the barriers to meet the inheritance.
4. Confusion of law
Even if the certainty of law has been established, but the interfaith marriage actors still thinks confused. They know that their kind of marriage has not been accommodated and even their own religion doesn’t wish it. Indeed some of the actors know that Islam doesn’t give certainty whether their marriage is allowed, because there are Islamic scholars allow and anothers prohibit.
5. Domination and anxiety
Notwithstanding there is an agreement to respect each own faith before establishing marriage, but conflict that happens during the journey can disturb the worship. It’s also admitted by interfaith marriage actors in the hamlet, they (both husband and wife) wished that the children should follow their religion. It causes a problem of domination within family’s life.
6. Counterfeiting
Their marriage was preceded by counterfeiting status, thus would be many counterfeits furthermore, for instance when the children have the desire to marry. It’s similar with an idiom, “maintain a counterfeiting by using another counterfeiting.”
7. One of the spouse probably moves to his husband/wife’s religion
It’s probably a positive thing if one of spouse moves to Islam, but it will be different when a Muslim moves to be murtad that it’s caused by the marriage.
Beside negative impacts, there is the positive of interfaith marriage. This paragraph aims to balance the explanation. It would create a sense of tolerance earlier. Because the difference that brought about serenity and goodness, will produce a good impact, then each component of the family will get a sense of tolerance and mutual respect towards the difference, they will realize that pluralism and differentiation are something real and unified-able.
________________________________________________
[1] Obtained from the newest data i.e. “Potensi Desa Banguntapan 2007” and “Tingkat Perkembangan Desa Banguntapan 2007.”
[2] Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.
[3] The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October 27, 2010
[4] Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.
[5] New Sorowajan Hamlet’s documents
[6] The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October 27, 2010
[7] New Sorowajan Hamlet’s Documents
[8] New Sorowajan Hamlet’s Documents
[9] New Sorowajan Hamlet’s Documents
[10] Interview with the head of New Sorowajan Hamlet, October 27, 2010
[11] Interview with the head of Village Banguntapan, at Tuesday, October 26, 2010 and with Fredy Andi Yuniardi (Mosque Youth Corps) at Saturday, October 23, 2010
[12] Interview with Ir. Hertanto, one of Ta’mir administrators at Baitul Arqom mosque at Saturday October 23, 2010.
[13] Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
[14] Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010
[15] Interview with Mrs. Beni at Sunday, October 24, 2010
[16] Interview with Rosydi at Thursday, October 21, 2010
[17] Interview with Sutarto at Saturday, October 23, 2010
[18] Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
[19] Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
[20] Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
[21] Interview with Sukarmi (ustaz{ah, neighbor of Sutarto-Mila Kristin) at Wednesday, October 27, 2010
[22] Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010
[23] Interview with Rosydi at Friday, October 22, 2010
[24] Interview with Mrs. Beni at Thursday, October 21, 2010
[25] The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors
[26] The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors, the officials of two offices.
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